2008 Pontiac Solstice GXP – Sex Toy

There are inconsequentials you need to overlook, mainly the fact that you’ll be driving the most phallic object on the road, oil trucks included. Roof down, the Solstice presents a near perfect sex-toy profile. So really the first thing you’ll need to do after purchasing your Solstice from the big-three discount bin is cue up the Ambiguously Gay Duo soundtrack on the iPod.

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2009 Volvo XC90 Design-R: Santa’s Got a Whole New Sled

Egg Lake, BC — It’s -36, Celsius or Fahrenheit, take your pick no conversion is necessary. That’s at 10AM. In the sun. The air has warmed since it hit -38 last night. What possessed us to test the Volvo XC90 Design-R in such temperatures? An attempt to test this luxury SUV at the limits of human endurance? In a way yes, it’s my annual pilgrimage north for a pre-Christmas family visit.

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2009 BMW 128i – The Object of My Compression

Consider the following; narcotics sold by the gram, LSD sitting on a small stamp of paper, and carbon masses compacted to tiny shimmering diamonds. It seems incongruous that North America has lauded massive displacements and huge footprints for so long. Clearly the good comes in small packages. That brings us to the BMW 128i, which unexpectedly (given its stature) it’s not a simpler, lighter, smaller BMW, but a grownup beemer condensed to gold-like density.

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2008 Cadillac CTS 4 – Waiting for Harmony

According to Wikipedia, “Avant-garde represents a pushing of the boundaries of what is accepted as the norm or the status quo, primarily in the cultural realm.” In 1863 in Paris it meant artistic revolution. If BMW, Audi, Infiniti and Lexus represent the homogenous and conservative “Salon de Paris” of the automotive world, then Cadillac is a “Salon des Refusés” of one with the bold 2008 CTS 4.

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2008 Audi TT Coupe – TT? No, Tee-Hee

First displayed as a concept at the 1995 Frankfurt Auto Show, the original Audi TT traded heavily on its looks. Self-obsessed as an ouroboros, the TT attracted graphic designers, architects, and Bret Easton Ellis fans like stylish iron filings to a magnet. Unfortunately, reviewers coveted the outgoing car’s driving experience as much as syphilis. For 2008 Audi has wisely chosen the extreme makeover path for the new TT, and while the Apple Macbook Air set may be disappointed, the rest of us will be rejoicing.

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2008 Suzuki SX4 Fastback – The Cute’Ute

Belting through traffic, I feel as if I should be slaloming wash lines, market carts and pavement cafes, rather than behemoth SUVs, Cube Vans and moderately enraged drivers… one of which happens to be our cameraman in a pursing BMW 535xi. There’s Italian city car flair to the Suzuki SX4, and for good reason; it and the Fiat Sedici are the result of a joint project between the two automakers. Japanese implementation and Italian design wrapped up in a CUV (Cute Utility Vehicle) complete with all-wheel drive – that’s a combination that makes the SX4 possible the best of all worlds.

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